As parents and even teachers, it can be easy to default to certain phrases that we heard as children. Research has shown over the years that words truly matter and some slight changes can completely change the outcome that we’re looking for. Here are some examples.

Instead of: Try:

“Be quiet”    “Can you use a softer voice?”

“What a mess!” “It looks like you had fun! How can we clean up?

“Do you need help?” “I’m here to help if you need me”

“I explained how to do this yesterday” “Maybe I can show you another way.”

“Do I need to separate you?”       “Could you use a break?”

“Stop Crying” “It’s okay to cry”

“Do you have any questions?”  “What questions do you have?”

“You’re Ok.”        “How are you feeling?”

“It’s not that hard”      “You can do hard things.”

Which ones will you try with someone you love today?